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Rosire Sabido

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I wouldn't call myself a comedian cause I really ain't. We got this activity which is Stand up comedy I think. My jokes are pretty good but it doesn't translate well so I need English jokes. Now get your keyboard and give me your best one or two it's up to you. Make sure you didn't copy paste it from google.
 

screwthetrees

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Jokes? I dont know any jokes. Ouch, now i remeber good old dark humor thread :(

Knock knock. Who's there? The Moon! It's far away! you were alone the whole time!

Stolen league jokes anyone? No?
 

Rosire Sabido

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Huh sorry I didn't get I'm slow. I heard this joke from a friend but I think I heard it before. It kinda goes like this, my friend was gonna tell a dick joke but it's too long.
 

aaronboy22

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Once upon a time this mind harbored creativity enough to create humor.

It died.
 

Rosire Sabido

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Once upon a time this mind harbored creativity enough to create humor.

It died.
Am I supposed to laugh? Just kidding my fellow country men needs a different kind of humor the unique kind. I don't think we like the same kind of jokes.
Let me give you another example of a joke from my crew.

Once upon a time there were two brothers named Small and Huge. Their Father was in a different country and Huge wrote a letter to his Father. This is what the letter said.

Dear, Father


Please bring us a kilo of pork and a dozen balls when you get home. You are the best Dad!!!


Your Children,
Huge and Small

Huge asked his younger brother Small to deliver the letter to the post office. Unfortunately he while he was on his way he saw some of his classmates. He was always bullied by his classmates because he is small. They bullied Small and they tore the letter. Because Small was afraid of his brother that he would scold him for not giving the letter. He quickly searched for Tape and he repaired the letter and gave it to the postman. But what he didn't know was he didn't put the pieces right. So the father received the letter and it says:


Dear, Pork


Please bring us a kilo of Father and a dozen of Children,You the best Dad!!!


Your balls. are
Huge and Small
 

aaronboy22

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Am I supposed to laugh? Just kidding my fellow country men needs a different kind of humor the unique kind. I don't think we like the same kind of jokes.
Let me give you another example of a joke from my crew.

Once upon a time there were two brothers named Small and Huge. Their Father was in a different country and Huge wrote a letter to his Father. This is what the letter said.

Dear, Father


Please bring us a kilo of pork and a dozen balls when you get home. You are the best Dad!!!


Your Children,
Huge and Small

Huge asked his younger brother Small to deliver the letter to the post office. Unfortunately he while he was on his way he saw some of his classmates. He was always bullied by his classmates because he is small. They bullied Small and they tore the letter. Because Small was afraid of his brother that he would scold him for not giving the letter. He quickly searched for Tape and he repaired the letter and gave it to the postman. But what he didn't know was he didn't put the pieces right. So the father received the letter and it says:


Dear, Pork


Please bring us a kilo of Father and a dozen of Children,You the best Dad!!!


Your balls. are
Huge and Small
A Jewish man in his mid-thirties wishes to try Pork at least once in his life, yet he cannot eat it according to his religion, for it is non-kosher. However, he goes many miles from his home, and enters a restaurant. He looks through the menu and decides that he wants to try everything, so he orders a full pig, apple in the mouth and all. However, just as the pig is placed on the table, it's sinfully good smell wafting into his nose, the mans brother enters the business.

The brother walks up to his table while the man nervously thinks up excuses. When the brother gets to the table he says "Brother, you order a baked apple and this is how they deliver it to you?!"
 

Rosire Sabido

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A Jewish man in his mid-thirties wishes to try Pork at least once in his life, yet he cannot eat it according to his religion, for it is non-kosher. However, he goes many miles from his home, and enters a restaurant. He looks through the menu and decides that he wants to try everything, so he orders a full pig, apple in the mouth and all. However, just as the pig is placed on the table, it's sinfully good smell wafting into his nose, the mans brother enters the business.

The brother walks up to his table while the man nervously thinks up excuses. When the brother gets to the table he says "Brother, you order a baked apple and this is how they deliver it to you?!"
I guess that was quite funny?

Anotha one


There was a guy looking to buy a horse. The horse seller says to the man here look at this horse. The seller says, this horse is special it can do tricks. If you say "Praise the Lord" this horse will sprint as fast as it can. And if you say Please stop then it will stop. The guy bought the horse and rode on it's back and said "Praise the Lord". The horse ran as fast as a car but the man saw that the horse was going straight for the cliff. So the guy forgot how to stop the horse, and said some random words. When he was so close falling of the edge he said PLEASE STOP!!! so the horse stopped. So he was so happy and he felt blessed so he says "PRAISE THE LORD!!!"
 

GewoonRobbie

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What's the difference between pineapples and all other fruit?
Pineapples aren't funny.
 

Xyphien

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Me

Get it... because I'm a joke...
 

Nomec104

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Sorry guys jokes arent for me... i still dont understand what is write here lol
 
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